


What Am I?

by DragoFyre



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Reader Is Not Chara, Reader Is Not Frisk, reader is sort of an OC but it'll make sense later holy shit this is confusing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-22 08:47:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6072778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragoFyre/pseuds/DragoFyre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is gonna be a REALLY confusing book.<br/>Be prepared. :|</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Don't You Have Anything Better to do?

Ceremoniously, as if it had happened thousands of times before, the sky flashed, and I looked upon it in wonder. The light dazzled me, as if it was sent to say, _“It is all finally over, you may rest now, and begin your life anew. Never again should you go through this-”_

.

 .

  .

But that was where I was wrong. 

The light faded, the sirens song ended, and the pain disappeared, just like before. _It was happening again._ The same men stood over me, their faces serene masks of kindness and love, telling me with expressions alone that it was all okay. I was going to be all right, they would help me.

Again I thought, _‘Why, this must be my chance to escape before they get me! Oh, I am but a lucky soul whom god has smiled upon today! Perhaps, for once things shall turn out okay-’_

.

 .

  .

   .

And again I was wrong.

Somehow, they’d thought to block the exits, and I was stuck in their grasp once more. _It was happening again._ But then, just minutes into the whole ordeal, the light again came, and the song resumed as if it had merely been paused. Foolish, naive child I was, I thought, optimistically, _of course, “Why, no, this is not God. It must be some kind human, only set on helping myself. He must’ve made a mistake though, and is now opting to fix i-”_

.

 .

  .

   .

    .

It was getting annoying at this point. Again and again, the world just seemed to reset upon itself, I, the only one who seemed to remember. It would happen sporadically, at random points, and the distance between the _‘resets’_ was always different, but, reliably, it brought me back to the same point; just before _it_ happened. Endlessly I saw the monsters come to the surface, saw them live in society, finally become happy, finally become a part of the world they’d always wanted to live in. 

Then, again, time restarted.

On one day, just after the… _event_ , I sat in an alley, wounded, helpless, the pain flaring all over. Honestly, I didn’t care about how much it hurt, I was used to the pain. It still hurt like hell, and I couldn’t do anything without it getting worse, but I could think clearly through the agony. After about ten minutes, I decided I’d had enough of wallowing in my own pity and stood, pulling the rag I called a cloak over myself, hiding my face. Slowly, I stepped out of the alley, making sure no one was looking in the genial vicinity. After I was sure the coast was clear, I stepped further onto the road and began reliving my life again, idly wondering how far I’d get into it this time around.


	2. Trust Me, it Could be Worse.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second, in which we meet someone.

JAN 23, 2016

I sighed and blew an absent piece of hair away from my face, stuffing my hands in my pockets quickly. So far, this was the farthest I’d ever gotten into life without a reset, and I was relishing every minute of the new experience. None of the past two months had happened before, and seeing something new for once was exhilarating. It had been winter for a while now, and for once I’d gotten to experience my favorite season without being taken back to summer as soon as it started. My hood was pulled securely over my face, the oversized jacket I was wearing completely zipped up. My footsteps were as light as I could make them, the puddles on the sidewalk barely rippling every time I stepped in them. A bag of food in arms, I was headed home after going on a grocery run, walking as fast as I could so the eggs wouldn’t spoil. 

As I was lifting my free arm to check my watch, my hood slipped a little and I caught a glimpse of my reflection in a puddle. I stopped soon afterwords, glaring at the face that used to be mine. Soon, I grew infuriated with staring at myself and kicked the puddle, pulling my hood even lower. 

It was 11:47, by the way. 

I reached home without any hassle afterwords, and hurried in to get the spoilable foods to the fridge. Once the eggs were safe I noticed some commotion outside, and stepped to my window to check out what was going on. A moving truck was parked in front of the house beside mine, bulky monsters carrying large boxes out of the truck and into the house.

Great, nosy neighbors. Just what I needed in my life. 

I sighed and closed my blinds, deciding that the neighbors were no longer interesting. Having people close by meant I could easily be seen, and honestly, I didn’t want that.

I don’t really think anyone does. 

I headed to my room to search for some gauze to cover up my face, grabbing a large scarf as well to add to the lower part of my head, mainly so I could breath without being suffocated by bandages. Once found, I headed to my mirror and pulled off my hoodie, shedding it and stretching out my arms afterwords. I took the roll of gauze and slowly wrapped it around my forehead, stopping just at my hairline so I could brush my bangs over my _“face”_ as well. Once my face was wrapped to just below my nose, leaving one eye exposed, I took my scarf and wrapped it around my chin, rewrapping it around my head until it covered the entire lower half of my face, the tails flying behind me. I grinned at my handiwork and took out a brush, pulling my chestnut brown hair down so it covered the half of my face that had its eye covered up. Feeling satisfied with the look, I stood and wrapped the plain grey hoodie around my waist instead, slipping my bunny slippers on as well to complete my “homely” look. 

Just in time, the front bell wrung, and, sighing, I decided I had to go get it, just in case it was the neighbors. I rushed through the parlor to the door, gripping the handle and opening it to find a skeleton standing in the frame. He (I think it was male) was extremely tall, dwarfing my “just below five feet” and was holding a tray of what seemed to be spaghetti. 

I was already regretting opening the door. 

“WHY HELLO,THERE, NEIGHBOR-” he abruptly cut off at seeing my bandages, so I, being the sarcastic little shit I was, crossed my arms, looking at him with my eye as if to say, _“never seen someone with bandages covering half their face before?”_

I cut myself out of my thoughts as he resumed speaking, seemingly unbothered by the gauze around my face. Makes sense, he is a skeleton after all. “I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, YOUR NEW NEIGHBOR, HAVE BROUGHT YOU A HELLO GIFT OF SPAGHETTI, COOKED BY I, THE UNPARALLELED SPAGHETTORE!”

I was _really_ regretting opening the door. 

I uncrossed my arms slowly and signed a simple _“thank you,”_ hoping he knew ASL.

“OH MY! YOU’RE JUST LIKE MY DEAREST FRIEND FRISK, THE SAVIOR OF THE UNDERGROUND. YOU MIGHT OF HEARD OF THEM BEFORE, THEY SPEAK IN SIGN LANGUAGE TOO!”

Slowly I blinked. He was friends with Frisk? Sure, I’d heard about the legendary savior of the underground before, but I’d never imagined I’d be affiliated with them in the slightest. Nervously, as if I was stuttering, I signed, _“Th-that’s cool…?”_ Just to be safe I signed a question mark a few seconds after completing the sentence, the hidden look on my face completely flustered.

“YES, INDEED, HUMAN, IT IS QUITE GREAT! IN FACT, I CAN SEE YOU ARE SO ENAMORED AT MEETING I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, THAT I FEEL AS IF I MUST INVITE YOU OVER TO MY HOUSE TO MEET MY OLDER BROTHER! HE’S ALMOST AS COOL AS ME!”

I quickly started signing _“No than-”_ but was cut off as Papyrus grabbed my hand and began leading my to his house, leaving my door standing open behind me for all to enter. The little plate of spaghetti he’d made splatted on the pavement, dropped in his rush to grab my hand. It was on days like this that I regretted not being able to shout.

Soon, I just gave up on attempting to get out of Papyrus’s grasp, because it was clear he wasn’t planning on letting me go until I had met his brother. “WE ARE NOW HERE HUMAN, AT MY HOUSE!”

Shakily I gestured, _“Greeaaaat,”_ in a drawn out fashion, so there’d be a hint of sarcasm laced beneath my… words? Excitedly, Papyrus led me through the empty halls of his home until we reached a room right at the back of it. “HERE WE ARE! MY BROTHER’S ROOM! NOW, I’M ASSUMING HE SHOULD NOT HAVE FOUND A WAY TO MESS IT UP YET, BUT DO NOT BE SURPRISED IF IT IS A PIGSTY IN THERE.” 

I slowly signed my approval and watched as Papyrus opened the door, shouting at his brother to come out and meet the new neighbor. “all right, dude. i’m coming, i’ve just gotta get… unstuck.” Curious, I stuck my head in beside Papyrus and let out a small gasp at the sight before me.

A very short skeleton was tangled up in an immeasurable number of sheets, the thin blankets wrapped around him in a way that told me he may not be the brightest in terms of common sense. After making sure I was seeing the right thing, I stepped away from the door frame and leaned against the opposite wall, crossing my arms as Papyrus went to help out his brother. “SANS! WE HAVE A GUEST, YOU LAZY SLACKER!”

“look, bro, it wasn’t my fault. it was an accident, honest, i’m sorry… geez.”

In a few minutes Sans was free, Papyrus was cooking, and I was shaking hands with him, attempting to avoid questions about my face. “so, kid, what’s with the face coverage? on the run from the fbi, or are you just playing ninja?”

I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly and signed the equivalent to _“something like that.”_

Sans laughed a bit, then slapped my back, showing to me that he was, in fact, taller than me, which was even more irritating, highlighting once more the fact that I was a midget. “what’s gnawing on your bones, kid? you seem irritated.” 

_“I’m. A midget.”_

Sans laughed at loud at that, his face flushing a florescent blue as he struggled to breath. “yeah, kid, you really are. i’m, like five feet and you’re shorter than me.” I growled at that and huffed, crossing my arms over my chest. “hey, pal, s’okay. my jokes just go right through some people.”  
After realizing what he’d said, I stiffened, looking down at myself feverishly as I pushed back memories from before the reset. _It’s fine. You’re you. Nothings wrong. Don’t panic for nothing._

I looked up again as I realized Sans was speaking again, raising my eyebrow at the question he was asking. _Was I a human or a monster?_ I wonder why he’d want to know that.

Jokingly, I signed _“both,”_ before waving at him as I turned my back, heading out of the house so I could go back to mine, where I didn’t have to deal with socializing of any sort, monster or otherwise. Papyrus attempted to stop me on my way out, offering me replacement spaghetti for the plate he’d dropped earlier, but, in a hurry to get out, I declined. I speed walked to my house after closing their door behind me, cleaning the spaghetti up on my way in.

I felt safe once more once I was in my home, the only safe place I currently had. I ripped off the gauze and scarf, happy to be able to breath unobstructed once more. _Was I a human or a monster?_

“Great question, buddy,” I said to myself as I stood and looked in the mirror located in my parlor. I grinned sadly at my reflection and put a hand to the mirror gently, “I’ll make sure to tell you once I figure it out.”

I lifted my hand off the mirror and looked to my chest once more, staring at the patchwork heart that made up my soul, the numerous colors in it barely even countable at this point. Suddenly, a scowl took over my face, and the purple piece that’d been previously glowing went out, a blue patch lighting up in its place. “Yeah, _buddy_ , I’ll make sure to tell you once we figure it out.” Angrily, I punched the mirror, crushing the heart contained in it mercilessly. Grinning, I looked at the shattered heart, the uneven breaks almost matching up with the borders of my blue piece, highlighting it as it dimmed until it was almost black. I searched again for the new lit up shred of my soul. Quickly, I found a lumpy orange piece, its  edges about as ragged as I felt. 

I was calm by now, and understood that what I was doing was meaningless. It wasn’t his fault for asking, and, personally, I would ask myself if I was human as well, since you couldn’t really tell. I steeled myself and stepped away from the mirror, going to get a broom to clean up the mess I’d made.


	3. Already Having a Bad Time?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS EXTREMELY GRAPHIC VIOLENCE, INCLUDING THE DEVOURING OF A HUMAN BY A NON-HUMAN BEING, SKIP IF DESIRED. THIS CHAPTER IS NECESSARY TO THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE STORY, HOWEVER, AND I SUGGEST READING NOTES AT THE END TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED. DON’T WORRY— READER-CHAN IS NOT DOING THIS SHIT.

JAN 23, 2013

I ran down the street as quickly as I could, glancing behind me as often as I dared, my breaths drawn in short, quick pants. Yes, I _was_ terrified, thank you for asking, and, yes, my life _was_ on the line. Man, great audience today.

I shook myself out of my thoughts and ran forward, pressing even harder than before. A cart of watermelons stood in front of me, the shopkeeper tending to it looking at me as if I was insane for barreling towards it. _What? Never seen a teenager running through the streets at breakneck speed, two goons looming behind them threateningly?_ OH, you haven’t? _Then, Ma’am, I suggest you start living soon, because your life seems BOR-ING._

I rolled my eyes at the woman, leaping over her cart without even breaking stride. She looked at me, shocked, and I winked at her suggestively, laughing at her flabbergasted expression. 

 _A Wild Teenager has appeared! The Wild Teenager has used_ FLIRT _! Your defense has dropped exponentially!_

I heard a crash behind me and turned around, grinning as I saw the goons chasing me splayed out flat on the pavement. “Ha! SUCKERS!” I shouted, regretting it immediately afterwords as they seemed to become about six times more enraged. “Shit! Shit! _SHIT_!” I screamed again, running so fast now it probably looked like I was a cartoon character.  The people on the street looked at me as if I really _was_ crazy, and let’s face it, I probably was. They should be used to it at this point, though. I mean, sure, the people chasing me were normally my classmates, but it was still chasing, even if different people were taking up the job. Hey, maybe these people were being _paid_ to chase me. Maybe it wasn’t their fault and we could be friends! 

Still, for newfound besties, they _were_ acting a _bit_ scary. Nothing I couldn’t overlook, though! A friend was a friend, no matter where it came from! 

My newfound besties were gaining on me….

Closer…closer… They wouldn’t stop, even when I fell on the ground, finally collapsing from exhaustion. I grinned sadly as they shot close enough to begin to loom over my being. _“D-dudes…”_ I gasped out, still regaining my composure. _“D-don’t you know the proper way to greet a new pal?”_ I laughed bitterly, sticking my hand up weakly as I smiled, _“Sh-shake my hand…”_

One of the goons scoffed at me and kicked my arm away, stomping on my hand once it landed on the ground. I didn’t even flinch.

I just laid there smiling, raising my hand again once he took his foot off of it. I laughed again and reiterated, _“Shake. My. Hand.”_

I think the men were scared at this point, stepping away from me with slightly worried looks on their faces. I heard one mutter something about my being a freak, but I ignored it and kept a smile on my face, waving my hand a bit so they’d know I still expected them to shake it.

After about ten more times of raising my hand, which was now brutally bruised and bloodied beyond the point of recognition, once finally grumbled again abut what a freak I was and shook my hand, stepping away, terrified, as a glowing black light enveloped our hands. I grinned wickedly and stood, using his hand as leverage to stand. Once on my feet  I flexed my fingers, content to find that I could feel them all again. 

The goon I’d touched was laying on the ground now, clutching his chest as he coughed up blood. “You… y-you’re not h-human… are y-you…?” he looked up to see me grinning over him, my arms crossed over my chest. “H-he was right t-to say w-we needed to be… c-careful.” He laughed bitterly. “I guess that’s my fault for being c-careless…”

 

**GORE WARNING—**

 

He was cut off as a violent coughing fit took him over, blood coming out of him mouth in clumps, the mucus he was hacking up  turning it oddly thick. I bent down and smiled at him, running my hand through the mucus-y blood before I licked it, relishing the lifeblood it offered me. I grinned sadistically as I pulled my finger out of my mouth with a resonating pop, licking my lips afterwords. The goon who’d been standing in the background began retching at that, the food spurting out of his mouth as water would from a fountain. He shivered as he puked, his body convulsing wretchedly as he bent over, attempting to rid himself of the pain. Hmmf. Guess he had a weak stomach. Well, at least he was incapacitated. Even when he was done emptying his stomach, he looked like he’d be dry heaving for a while. 

I turned my head back to the dying man in front of me and looked at my finger again, still glistening from my saliva. “Y’know…” I started, grinning again, “my spit’s pretty acidic, or so they say. Never had an effect on me!” I paused to laugh and raised my head to look up, a bored expression taking over my face. “I wonder… what would it be like if I could feel it… the others scream pretty loudly when it touches them… Would your reaction be any different?” Without a response, I sighed. It was boring when playthings didn’t work. Toys were fun and all… but it was way better when they were automated. It seemed this one was out of batteries. 

I looked back at it, lifting its chin up to inspect for any external damage. It sucked when they weren’t in meant condition, then their value went down. “Wh-what are you doing…?” it said weakly, grimacing as I dropped its head in surprise. Maybe the toy wasn’t broken after all? Did it just malfunction…?

“I was just looking to see if my new toy was already broken… I was hoping for some more playtime after all!” I giggled and skipped around to his other side, continuing my inspection. “Nope! Looks like its still intact!” The toy looked a bit relieved at that, and I hate to crush its hopes, but I didn’t want it to get the wrong impression, so I began correcting it. “Oh no! You’re not safe! I still wanna play after all, and a kids’ gotta eat right?”

The toys eyes widened in staged terror, as they always did.

Whoever made them seemed to get the expression wrong most of the time, though, since this didn’t really look like true horror. I scowled and kicked its head to the side, bending down again as it coughed up more blood. “They never do get fear right when they make you, do they?” It looked up at me confusedly, the expression on its face still that half assed terror I hated. I sighed, looking for a way to explain it to a machine. “Okay… well, the toymaker that put you together didm’t get all your expressions right when he put you together. He never seems to, since only about half the set seems to seem _actually_ scared. Like, I get that you’re not alive, but he should at least _try_ to make every one of them look actually scared.” I stomped my foot on the ground, biting my cheek as I continued, “You seemed fine with that smug expression earlier, but your fear always seems half-assed, like you _wanna_ die!” I growled and turned to it again, pouting as I continued. 

“You’re a _machine_ , you shouldn’t want to die! Y-you’re supposed to be programmed to w-want to go on,” I winced as tears began to spring out of my eyes, and looked to the floor, lowing my voice further. “ _Y-you never seem to want to play, either…_ You’re _machines_! You are sent here to play, right?! So why won’t you fucking play?!” slowly, I let myself down to its level, frowning as I watched its red oil leak from a hole in its face. I sighed again and pouted for a moment as I thought again, wondering what to do with the obviously broken toy. “I know…” I turned to it, grinning, “I’ll just eat you now!” The toy’s eyes _finally_ seemed to widen in real fear as I  licked one of my fingers again, glancing over at it before I promptly stuck it in his eye. “They always say save the best for last…” I pulled the eye out with a resonating _pop_ , shaping the cord it was attached to with a sharp pull. “But that’s just a load of bullshit, right?” I stuck my finger in my mouth and pulled it out once the eye was on my tongue, chewing it up to the rhythm of the toy’s screams, relishing both the sound and the noise. Once the eye was a soggy mess in my mouth, I spat it out onto the floor, as you would a piece of gum that’d lost its flavor. The toy whimpered at seeing its own eye lying in front of it, his remaining eye widened in terror and confusion. 

I stood once I felt satisfied with the validity of its terror, finally remembering the other toy that’d been sent for me to play with. I turned to the entrance of the alleyway, noticing the toy had fled, the only sign it’d been there in the first place the bile it’d left behind. I sighed and put my hands on my hips, muttering, “At least pick up your mess before you go…” I heard scuffling behind me and turned around, seeing the toy I’d been playing with attempting in vain to crawl away. Sighing once more, I stepped on its ankles quickly, nodding satisfactorily as I heard a resounding snap. The toy screamed in pain, clawing at the ground as saltwater leaked from its eyes. I licked my lips as it writhed, bending as I grasped onto the ankle I’d broken. Quickly, I twisted it so it was bent at a ninety degree angle, the bones sticking out of it at angles indescribable. A screech tore itself from the toys throat, the edges of its lips bleeding from how wide it was attempting to spread its jaw. 

“N o w  ,  t o y.   L e t ’ s   g e t   t o   t h e   r e a l   _j u i c y_ b i t s.”

I laughed again as I finished ripping off the foot, throwing it aside for later as my nails elongated. Slowly, I crawled up to the stomach and ripped through the thin layer of fabric covering it, exposing to me bare flesh. I licked my lips and dragged my legs down the fleshy surface gently, pressing in only at the end, drawing blood eventually. At this point, the toy could only whimper as I cut open its stomach in one clear swipe, blood spilling from it as a waterfall. I leaned down and put my mouth to the middle of the incision, near the heart, and bit into a vein, ripping it open and sucking the blood from the side still spurting it. The iron rich liquid went down my throat in long, hot gulps, thick and rich as ever. Once I’d had my fill I looked up from the artery as I licked my lips, seeing the toy struggling to remain active, since I’d just drained its battery. “Can’t have you dying yet!” I said to it cheerfully, putting my hand to its frantically beating heart as a black glow surrounded it. Soon, the toy’s face became again that disgustingly pink color, blinking frantically as it regained consciousness. Soon, the pain kicked in again and it resumed screaming, thrashing wildly under me. I laughed and moved to its entrails, ripping through them slowly, savoring each scream that came from the throat of my victim. 

Those audio-boxes were _really_ fucking durable.

I licked my fingers and looked down at the toy’s face, its remaining eye widened in terror, mine in horrific glee. This toy was _way_ more fun than the last couple had been. It was quiet, (comparatively) didn’t even struggle, and tasted so fucking _good_. I stuck my fingers back into its abdominal area, pulling out with them a mess of entrails. The toy whimpered pathetically as it saw its own organs clasped within my hands, shaking its head frantically as I brought them closer and closer to my mouth. Nodding in response, I stuffed the mouthful of organs into my mouth, chewing thrice and gulping them down, licking my lips afterwords.

“Humans are the _best_ if you want gourmet,” I whispered as I continued to pull out its organs one by one, as if having a casual conversation. “Even if you’re a fake human, you still taste pretty realistic.” I gulped. “I wonder what type of magic it takes to make you… pretty high class food, wouldn’t you say?

“Down _there_ I never even got food, since I was the runt of the litter. Then, I escaped, and for a while, I just reveled in the fact I was _free_ , mentally mocking the rest of them for being stuck down there, trapped within that horridly small cavern. I was so fucking happy to be free, happy I could eat without being hunted down every time I attempted to take a bite of my food. 

“I survived off garbage scraps for a while, avoiding the humans who attempted to kill me for my appearance, since I didn’t really look like I do now…” I trailed off as I thought about the past, recalling with vivid horror how I’d gained the form I inhabited now, then shaking it off as I looked back to the toy. “But you don’t need to know that, do you? You’re gonna break soon anyway.”

 

**GORE SORT OF OVER, THE NEXT PART IS IMPORTANT—**

 

I sighed and went back to eating, picking every bit of meat I could off of the bones, leaving a skeletal corpse behind in place of its legs and torso. Soon, all that remained was its heart and head, kept alive only with my magic. Full, I sighed and stood, picking up the heart and tossing it from hand to hand as I stepped on the toys head, stoically watching as the lights in its eyes went dim. Still, the heart pumped in my hands, beating frantically, fueled by my magic. 

Sighing, I said slowly, “I guessed I sorta lied…about saving the best for last, since this is really the best part. Oh well, bottoms up!” I dropped the heart into my mouth, crushing it as it touched my tongue. My back went rigid and my hands twitched as I swallowed the organ, the pleasure I was feeling indescribable, completely incomparable. I watched as the black light returned, then looked at my soul as another piece filled in the cracks that’d been etched into its black surface. Slowly, I stroked it, and looked at the small pieces that remained empty. 

“Just a few more pieces to go…” A tear rolled down my cheek “Then I’ll be complete again…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO yeah, if you're reading this, you read the summary and skipped the chapter- or you're just an awesomely attentive reader  
> So, the whole thing isn't gore if you skipped it all, and I suggest reading up to the gore warning included, then read after the gore is over and then read the notes!  
> Okay, done?  
> Good.  
> After the warning "we" end up eating the goon we touched, the other escapes, and we sort of... well, shit goes down.  
> I can't explain everything here, and, honestly, if you can't take gore and you skipped almost the whole chapter, then please stop reading this story, there WAS a warning.  
> You'll be able to understand the story well enough, sure, but the gore is something that can't be helped with the way I planned out the plot, so there'll be a few holes in the story if you skip all the gross bits.


End file.
